Post by Goldbergfanatic on Jan 18, 2007 18:24:08 GMT -5
Credit for this story goes to Angleslam2K from Gamefaqs
Lashley-Sama, we've captured the pandas.
"Very good".
-"What should we do with them mylord?"
Lashley stood up and raised his voice:
"ALL pandas are bastards. Lock them up in the dungeon at once!"
His servant couldn not believe his ears and gently replied, asking what the pandas would eat.
"The pandas shall eat the rats, crawling in the dungeons of my tower" Lashley laughed. Finally his servants captured some pandas. Since he was a young boy Bob always hated the panda bear. Now, as a ruler, he could exact his revenge.
Twenty-two steps.Lasley counted them every time he went to the dungeons. He went there every day since he conquered the castle. Whenever he was down, he went down there and mocked his prisoners. They were poorly fed and weakened by their hunger. Lashley went down there and walked in the first cell, where Rob van Dam resided.
"You...YOU MONSTER!" RVD lunged at Lashley but Lasley punched mr Pay-per-view in his stomach.
-"You should know better RVD. For this sign of disrespect I shall feed you to Dom Deluise."
Dom Deluise, waiting in the next cell was filled with joy. He took a knife and dissected Rob and ate him alive.
Lashley laughed. He felt much better after this joyous moment.
While Lashley gloated, his loyal servant ran down the 22 steps in a hurry.
"It's time sir".
-"WHAT?, already?"
Lashley could not believe his ears. His temper started to rise. He heard laughing from a cell in the distance.
"I Told you your day would come, Bobby" said the distant voice while bursting out in a maniacal laugh. Bobby became furious. He took his horse and rode to the cell, 10 feet away. While mounting the horse he recalled the horse was a bastard and dismounted it and walked instead. He spat on the horse which the horse replied to by running towards Lashley at a great pace. Lashley ran to the cell and stepped inside.
Inside, the voice who tormented Lashley showed his face. It was none other than Bill Goldberg. Lashley trembled. "You're like me, prisoner, only less black".
Goldberg was chained to the wall but tried to bite Lashley's head off. Lashley became frightened. He quickly used -in a moment of panic- Yoga Teleport, which he learned in India while competing in a fight under the name Black Alrog. However, because he wasn't focused he teleported to the front of his castle where his wife, Boy George was showering.
Lasley Ignored George and ran as fast as he could. He knew that the past happenings could be the beginning of the end for him. He needed to go to the steel forest, where all the trees are made out of steel and seek the advice of the Wise One, who guided him before.
Before he could enter the cabin of the Wise One he saw a grim figure leaving the cabin, looking like a bastard. He quickly entered the cabin and told his story,
"Well Bahby Laaaashley. A big problem you have, advice I will give you" he spoke.
-"What is the solution?" Bobby asked while trying on a new Afro wig.
"One on one...........with the UNDATAKAHH you will go"
Lashley ran as fast as he could and a bit faster and he soon found the Undertaker playing marbles with a unknown man, the same man he saw earlier.
"Who are you, are you a bastard?" asked Lashley.
"You know nothing but you got a cool afro wig" said the man.
"I am Tim Nobles-Anderson and I am from another world. A world that's real. A world where we have real men and where we could use talents like you".
-"You are Tim and you say you're real. I am Bobby and you're a bas......." BANG!
A gunshot was heard.
Tim Nobles-Anderson was shot by Ellen Degeneres. Moments later she shot herself.
Undertaker looked scared. Bobby Lashley's new Afro wig seemed alive and gave him the advice to use mind games.
"Undertaker, you're a Turkey."
-"No I am not a Turkey"
"Yes you are, gobble gobble."
Undertaker started to doubt himself and started to disco dance out of PURE PANIC.
Lashley knew this was a chance and used the Spear to take Undertaker down. He tried to pin him but his Afro wig. expanded and made Undertaker suffocate.
Lashley buried him together with Ellen Degeneres like the Undertaker would have wanted.
Undertaker was dispatched but young Bobby still didn't feel safe. He decided to head back to the castle. Standing at the gate he suddenly remembered he had to feed the piranhas in his moat. He went down into the dungeon but as he went down he heard strange noises. He hurried down there and he saw the animal Batista, one of his enemies picking the lock of cell 5MD, the cell where John Cena was locked in.
Bobby Lashley sneaked up to Batista and laid him out with a John Goodman, which was laying on the floor.
"You are the animal and you will consumed by the animals Davie Boy"
He carried Batista to the moat but he was suprised to say the least when he arrived there. John Goodman awoke and quickly morped into his King Ralph mode. He started singing Batista's themesong but Lashley pushed him into the moat and the piranhas consumed him.
"That one is for Blues Bastards 2000" Lashley said while he made a litlle snicker.
Batista knew he had to think fast but he forgot he couldn't think that well.
He quickly went into his machine gun taunt thinking it might scare Bobby Lashley.
This enraged Lashley.
He took out his remote control and pressed a green button. Suddenly the piranhas were gonna and were replacing it with Hydrochloric acid.
Batista jumped and used the acid as a trampoline but he bounced against the castle walls with his head and was hanging on a ledge.
"You're a Bastard Batista". Lashley was mocking him while rubbing his tummy.
Suddenly, the Batplane flew by.
"Holy digestion Batman, Batista is in trouble"
Batman got out of the cockpit and left Robin at the controlls in order to save Batista. However, Robin tilted the Batplane and led his mentor fall into the acid. He flew a bit back and used the Batlaser to blast Batsta to smithereens. Robin flew towards Lashley.
"Holy thanks mr Lashley, for inventing Batlasers and letting me enjoy blast Batista to death. He may not have lost his championship but he sure lost his life."
-"He's a bastard", Lashley replied while knitting a new sweater.
After knitting his sweater Lashley decided to ask the smartest slave he had to invent him something to entertain him. When he approached Mr Sheffield, he was working an another musical.
“It is time Mr Sheffield…it is time to entertain me….” Lashley said in a rather grim tone.
Mr Sheffield panicked. He didn’t have much trouble before. He decided to give Lashley a car and a map with an X on it.
Lashley reluctantly drove his car and it seemed like the destination was a garage......LOCATED IN THE CENTER OF HELL. He drove into it and suddenly saw a TV camera. Not long after, Xzibit appeared and told him they were gonna pimp his ride. Lashley was happy and went for a bit to eat while his car was getting worked on. Suddenly he realized that he hated pickles and in a quick moment of desperation, he ate a fire hydrant.
He still had time to kill so he went to visit his best friends in the world. When he arrived at the house of the California Raisins he sung a song with them. It was a song about Brian Kendrick making love to a prume.
Lashley loved that kind of songs but he had to hurry back to the garage. When he arrived there it seemed like the only thing they did to his car was spraypaint BOBBY LASHLEY – BASTARD 4EVER on the back. At first Bobby Lashey laughed but he soon let out a burp looking like a fart and then used his heat vision to melt all the people that worked on the car.
“You are now melted Bastards” Lashley said as he walked out of the garage. However, there was a ECW taping that day and Lashley needed to be there but he didn’t have a car so he stopped a grandma and drove on her back to the arena.
“You’re a old bastard” Lashley said and he picked her up threw her all the way to Videoland. The old woman since then became a helper of Motherbrain and the Eggplant Wizard.
He suddenly realized that the ECW taping was about to start so he ran so fast time ran forward. When he arrived a fan asked him for his autograph but Lashley wasn’t in the mood so he ate the fan except for the bones. He took the bones and started drumming with them. He played the drums so fast that John Lennon and George Harrison rose from the grave. Luckily for Lashley Paul McCartney was at the ECW taping to perform the new ECW theme song : I like mayonnaise. Therefore Lashley was the front man of the Beatles once again and soon he was invited to perform at the re-opening of Castle Grayskull.
“I GOT THE POWER…..to say that prince Adam is a bastard” Lashley said. Man-at-arms punched Lashley’s head off. Luckliky Lashey got a spare one in his underpants and he soon regained focus. He then rearranged Man-at-arms and build him into a rocket and flew him back to Lashley’s home planet, Stugfung.
Lashley arrived just in time because the planet was taken over yj Kurt Angle who just held his king speech:
“I’m real Kurt, and that’s real! I’m also extremely real! You’re looking at the real deal! Ilove the Ghostbusters….”
The Lashleyerians gasped.
“The REAL Ghostbusters’”
Lashley raised his voice and spoke.
“You’re real Kurt, you’re a real Bastard” Lashley said with a bit of a snicker.
Kurt Angle started to get angry. He warped both Lashley and him to earth and they fought in the most brutal of al places, the Palace hotel ballroom, 1980.
Elwood and his little Brother Jake were just performing “Everybody needs somebody to love” when Lashley grabbed the mike and hit Angle with it. He then sang “Everybody needs to know Kurt Angle is a bastard”. Kurt Angle agreed. Angle then went to the toilet and flushed himself.
i hope you enjoy it as much as i did i lol'd through all of it
Lashley-Sama, we've captured the pandas.
"Very good".
-"What should we do with them mylord?"
Lashley stood up and raised his voice:
"ALL pandas are bastards. Lock them up in the dungeon at once!"
His servant couldn not believe his ears and gently replied, asking what the pandas would eat.
"The pandas shall eat the rats, crawling in the dungeons of my tower" Lashley laughed. Finally his servants captured some pandas. Since he was a young boy Bob always hated the panda bear. Now, as a ruler, he could exact his revenge.
Twenty-two steps.Lasley counted them every time he went to the dungeons. He went there every day since he conquered the castle. Whenever he was down, he went down there and mocked his prisoners. They were poorly fed and weakened by their hunger. Lashley went down there and walked in the first cell, where Rob van Dam resided.
"You...YOU MONSTER!" RVD lunged at Lashley but Lasley punched mr Pay-per-view in his stomach.
-"You should know better RVD. For this sign of disrespect I shall feed you to Dom Deluise."
Dom Deluise, waiting in the next cell was filled with joy. He took a knife and dissected Rob and ate him alive.
Lashley laughed. He felt much better after this joyous moment.
While Lashley gloated, his loyal servant ran down the 22 steps in a hurry.
"It's time sir".
-"WHAT?, already?"
Lashley could not believe his ears. His temper started to rise. He heard laughing from a cell in the distance.
"I Told you your day would come, Bobby" said the distant voice while bursting out in a maniacal laugh. Bobby became furious. He took his horse and rode to the cell, 10 feet away. While mounting the horse he recalled the horse was a bastard and dismounted it and walked instead. He spat on the horse which the horse replied to by running towards Lashley at a great pace. Lashley ran to the cell and stepped inside.
Inside, the voice who tormented Lashley showed his face. It was none other than Bill Goldberg. Lashley trembled. "You're like me, prisoner, only less black".
Goldberg was chained to the wall but tried to bite Lashley's head off. Lashley became frightened. He quickly used -in a moment of panic- Yoga Teleport, which he learned in India while competing in a fight under the name Black Alrog. However, because he wasn't focused he teleported to the front of his castle where his wife, Boy George was showering.
Lasley Ignored George and ran as fast as he could. He knew that the past happenings could be the beginning of the end for him. He needed to go to the steel forest, where all the trees are made out of steel and seek the advice of the Wise One, who guided him before.
Before he could enter the cabin of the Wise One he saw a grim figure leaving the cabin, looking like a bastard. He quickly entered the cabin and told his story,
"Well Bahby Laaaashley. A big problem you have, advice I will give you" he spoke.
-"What is the solution?" Bobby asked while trying on a new Afro wig.
"One on one...........with the UNDATAKAHH you will go"
Lashley ran as fast as he could and a bit faster and he soon found the Undertaker playing marbles with a unknown man, the same man he saw earlier.
"Who are you, are you a bastard?" asked Lashley.
"You know nothing but you got a cool afro wig" said the man.
"I am Tim Nobles-Anderson and I am from another world. A world that's real. A world where we have real men and where we could use talents like you".
-"You are Tim and you say you're real. I am Bobby and you're a bas......." BANG!
A gunshot was heard.
Tim Nobles-Anderson was shot by Ellen Degeneres. Moments later she shot herself.
Undertaker looked scared. Bobby Lashley's new Afro wig seemed alive and gave him the advice to use mind games.
"Undertaker, you're a Turkey."
-"No I am not a Turkey"
"Yes you are, gobble gobble."
Undertaker started to doubt himself and started to disco dance out of PURE PANIC.
Lashley knew this was a chance and used the Spear to take Undertaker down. He tried to pin him but his Afro wig. expanded and made Undertaker suffocate.
Lashley buried him together with Ellen Degeneres like the Undertaker would have wanted.
Undertaker was dispatched but young Bobby still didn't feel safe. He decided to head back to the castle. Standing at the gate he suddenly remembered he had to feed the piranhas in his moat. He went down into the dungeon but as he went down he heard strange noises. He hurried down there and he saw the animal Batista, one of his enemies picking the lock of cell 5MD, the cell where John Cena was locked in.
Bobby Lashley sneaked up to Batista and laid him out with a John Goodman, which was laying on the floor.
"You are the animal and you will consumed by the animals Davie Boy"
He carried Batista to the moat but he was suprised to say the least when he arrived there. John Goodman awoke and quickly morped into his King Ralph mode. He started singing Batista's themesong but Lashley pushed him into the moat and the piranhas consumed him.
"That one is for Blues Bastards 2000" Lashley said while he made a litlle snicker.
Batista knew he had to think fast but he forgot he couldn't think that well.
He quickly went into his machine gun taunt thinking it might scare Bobby Lashley.
This enraged Lashley.
He took out his remote control and pressed a green button. Suddenly the piranhas were gonna and were replacing it with Hydrochloric acid.
Batista jumped and used the acid as a trampoline but he bounced against the castle walls with his head and was hanging on a ledge.
"You're a Bastard Batista". Lashley was mocking him while rubbing his tummy.
Suddenly, the Batplane flew by.
"Holy digestion Batman, Batista is in trouble"
Batman got out of the cockpit and left Robin at the controlls in order to save Batista. However, Robin tilted the Batplane and led his mentor fall into the acid. He flew a bit back and used the Batlaser to blast Batsta to smithereens. Robin flew towards Lashley.
"Holy thanks mr Lashley, for inventing Batlasers and letting me enjoy blast Batista to death. He may not have lost his championship but he sure lost his life."
-"He's a bastard", Lashley replied while knitting a new sweater.
After knitting his sweater Lashley decided to ask the smartest slave he had to invent him something to entertain him. When he approached Mr Sheffield, he was working an another musical.
“It is time Mr Sheffield…it is time to entertain me….” Lashley said in a rather grim tone.
Mr Sheffield panicked. He didn’t have much trouble before. He decided to give Lashley a car and a map with an X on it.
Lashley reluctantly drove his car and it seemed like the destination was a garage......LOCATED IN THE CENTER OF HELL. He drove into it and suddenly saw a TV camera. Not long after, Xzibit appeared and told him they were gonna pimp his ride. Lashley was happy and went for a bit to eat while his car was getting worked on. Suddenly he realized that he hated pickles and in a quick moment of desperation, he ate a fire hydrant.
He still had time to kill so he went to visit his best friends in the world. When he arrived at the house of the California Raisins he sung a song with them. It was a song about Brian Kendrick making love to a prume.
Lashley loved that kind of songs but he had to hurry back to the garage. When he arrived there it seemed like the only thing they did to his car was spraypaint BOBBY LASHLEY – BASTARD 4EVER on the back. At first Bobby Lashey laughed but he soon let out a burp looking like a fart and then used his heat vision to melt all the people that worked on the car.
“You are now melted Bastards” Lashley said as he walked out of the garage. However, there was a ECW taping that day and Lashley needed to be there but he didn’t have a car so he stopped a grandma and drove on her back to the arena.
“You’re a old bastard” Lashley said and he picked her up threw her all the way to Videoland. The old woman since then became a helper of Motherbrain and the Eggplant Wizard.
He suddenly realized that the ECW taping was about to start so he ran so fast time ran forward. When he arrived a fan asked him for his autograph but Lashley wasn’t in the mood so he ate the fan except for the bones. He took the bones and started drumming with them. He played the drums so fast that John Lennon and George Harrison rose from the grave. Luckily for Lashley Paul McCartney was at the ECW taping to perform the new ECW theme song : I like mayonnaise. Therefore Lashley was the front man of the Beatles once again and soon he was invited to perform at the re-opening of Castle Grayskull.
“I GOT THE POWER…..to say that prince Adam is a bastard” Lashley said. Man-at-arms punched Lashley’s head off. Luckliky Lashey got a spare one in his underpants and he soon regained focus. He then rearranged Man-at-arms and build him into a rocket and flew him back to Lashley’s home planet, Stugfung.
Lashley arrived just in time because the planet was taken over yj Kurt Angle who just held his king speech:
“I’m real Kurt, and that’s real! I’m also extremely real! You’re looking at the real deal! Ilove the Ghostbusters….”
The Lashleyerians gasped.
“The REAL Ghostbusters’”
Lashley raised his voice and spoke.
“You’re real Kurt, you’re a real Bastard” Lashley said with a bit of a snicker.
Kurt Angle started to get angry. He warped both Lashley and him to earth and they fought in the most brutal of al places, the Palace hotel ballroom, 1980.
Elwood and his little Brother Jake were just performing “Everybody needs somebody to love” when Lashley grabbed the mike and hit Angle with it. He then sang “Everybody needs to know Kurt Angle is a bastard”. Kurt Angle agreed. Angle then went to the toilet and flushed himself.
i hope you enjoy it as much as i did i lol'd through all of it
